Funny WhatsApp Status:
Short & Funny Quotes for WhatsApp
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Funniest WhatsApp Status
All my life I thought air was free until
I bought a bag of chips.
Dear problems… Please give me some
discount… I’m your regular customer.
Do you still hate me? I don’t care!
Enjoy your life–there’s is plenty of
time to be dead.
Even fools seem smart when they are
quiet.
Funniest One-liner Whatsapp Status
Great power comes with great electricity
bills.
Hey, I’ll be back in five minutes. If
I’m not, just read this message again.
I am not stubborn, I am just always
right.
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was
married for two years.
I follow the quote, “Always be true to
yourself” because I only lie to others!
I have a lot of jokes about unemployed
people but none of them work.
I like when you smile, but I love it
when I’m the reason.
I’m too shy at first but once I’m
comfortable with you, get ready for some crazy shit.
I’ve been diagnosed with “awesomeness.”
You might want to get checked, but I doubt you caught it.
If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d
want my ex’s. It’s never been used.
If I won the award for laziness, I would
send somebody to pick it up for me.
If people are talking behind your back,
that’s a good time to fart.
If you can’t convince them, confuse
them!
Is it vodka o’clock yet?
It’s better to fail than to cheat but
its better to cheat than to repeat.
Life is short smile while you still have
teeth.
Life is too short. Don’t waste it
removing pen drive safely.
Marriage is the main cause of divorce.
Marriage means silent suicide.
Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not
Guy.
Rules are made to be broken.
Silent people have the craziest minds.
The first five days after the weekend
are always the hardest.
The most important Shareholder in your
life is you.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a
secret.
Whenever I find key to success, someone
changes the lock.
Yeah you’re really pretty, pretty
stupid.
You have the perfect face for radio.
Funniest WhatsApp Status in English
Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost
your phone in it.
As long as there are tests, there will
be prayers in schools.
Be nice to nerds, they will be your boss
one day.
Everyone wants to park their vehicles in
shade but no one wants to grow trees.
I fell in love at first sight. I should
have looked twice.
If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb
your ego and jump to your IQ.
If you smile when no one is around, you
really mean it?
It must be difficult to post
inspirational status when your blood type is B Negative.
My drug test came back negative. My
dealer sure has some explaining to do.
Of course I talk to myself! Sometimes I
need expert advice.
Stop thinking too much, it’s all right
not to know all the answers.
The worst time to have a heart attack is
during a game of charades.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your
parents as an example.
When everything’s coming your way, you
are in the wrong lane.
You smell like hidden motives, get away
from me.
Funniest WhatsApp Status Message
80% of boys have a girlfriend and rest have a
brain.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She
changes it more often.
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares
everyone in the car I’m driving.
Can I have your picture so I can show
Santa what I want for Christmas?
Childhood is like being drunk, everyone
remembers what you did, except you.
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry
about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.
Employee of the month is a good example
of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Follow your heart but take your brain with you.
For you men who think a woman’s place is in the
kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was
blaming you.
I enjoy when people show Attitude to me coz it
shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy
bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but
thankfully, I turned myself around.
I’m cool but global warming made me hot.
I’m on a whiskey diet…I’ve lost three days
already.
If I’d shot you sooner, I’d be out of jail by now.
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Life is all about perspective. The
sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.
Life is one-time offers use it well.
My girlfriend is always stealing my
t-shirts and sweaters… But if I take a single one of her dresses, suddenly “we
need to talk.”
My girlfriend was complaining last night that I
never listen to her. Or something like that.
My wallet is like onion, opening it makes me
cry.
Never make the same mistake twice, There
are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
On the internet you can be anything you
want, it’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
People said to follow your dreams so I
went back to bed.
Strong people don’t put others down. They lift
them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
The police called to say one of my friends
escaped from a mental hospital. Which one of you crazies got out and where
should I pick you up?
Well I could agree with you, but then we’d both
be wrong.
Zombies are looking for brains. Don’t
worry, you’re safe.
All these funny statuses are an
excellent way to dispel dullness instantly. Sharing a few hilarious jokes with
your friends can make your day a good day. We hope you enjoyed our funny status
messages. Let’s post on Whatsapp to cheer up your friends.
Also
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Cool Whatsapp Status Ideas
Also
Read : 260+
Cool Whatsapp Status Ideas
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